261 Hilariously Funny Quotes For Motivation [You Will Laugh Lots]

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There is nothing better than reading some funny quotes for motivation.

Laughing makes us feel better.

If we combine this with a quote that is motivational it can be extremely powerful.

Right, let’s take a look at all of the funny quotes for motivation.

Contents show

Funny Quotes For Motivation

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous. Robert Benchley

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. Mark Twain

If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.
Unknown

The only place where your dreams become impossible is in your own thinking. Robert H Shuller

I believe in the discipline of silence, and could talk for hours about it. George Bernard Shaw

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. Oscar Wilde

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. Robert Frost

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open. Frank Zappa

Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

I am an optimist. It does not seem too much use being anything else. Winston Churchill

Cause your facial expression to change smile. Catherine Pulsifer

If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly. Steve Maraboli

I enjoy growing older and wiser and learning from my mistakes every single day. Ellen DeGeneres

We made mistakes because life doesn’t come with instructions. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
Sam Levenson

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. Cathy Guisewite

Goal setting is similar to traveling from point A to point B within a city. If you clearly understand what the goal is, you will definitely reach the destination because you know its address. Thomas Abreu

Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. Winston Churchill

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Mark Twain

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. Unknown

Be that kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor every morning, the devil says, ‘Oh crap she’s up’. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Sometimes life knocks you [down]… get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them. Steve Maraboli

A failure is like fertilizer; it stinks to be sure, but it makes things grow faster in the future. Denis Waitley

I cannot afford to waste my time making money. Louis Agassiz

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try!
Dr. Seuss

A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction. Justin Sewell

One day, the people who didn’t believe in you will tell everyone how they met you.

When life brings big winds of change that almost blow you over, close your eyes, hang on tight, and believe. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats. Voltaire

Leave something for someone but dont leave someone for something. Enid Blyton

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure. Unknown

When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much. Walter Lippmann

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. George Bernard Shaw

Actually being funny is mostly telling the truth about things. Bernard Sahlins

Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is! Jeffrey Gitomer

I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job. Samuel Goldwyn

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. Dale Carnegie

When you pray be careful of how you respond to what you get. I read somewhere that if you pray for rain. Don’t complain about the mud!
Hyacinth Mottley

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. George Burns

The mind is like a clock that is constantly running down. It has to be wound up daily with good thoughts. Fulton J. Sheen

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it. Brian Vaszily

It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question. Eugene Ionesco Decouvertes

You can’t wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. Jack London

If laughter is the best medicine, let’s OD together. Michael P. Clutton

People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing that’s why we recommend it daily. Zig Ziglar

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. Mark Twain

Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom. Terry Pratchett

The key to success is not through achievement but through enthusiasm. Malcolm Forbes

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. Truman Capote

Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others. Ashleigh Brilliant

I was born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. Drake

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits. Albert Einstein

I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess. Cassandra Duffy

It takes sunshine and rain to make a rainbow. There would be no rainbows without sunshine and rain. Roy T. Bennett

Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese. Billie Burke

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it. Terry Pratchett

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it. Franklin P. Jones

Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished If you’re alive it isn’t. Richard Bach

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong. Charles Wadsworth

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television. Woody Allen

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific. Lily Tomlin

Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.
Jason Love

Follow your passion, stay true to yourself, never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. Ellen Degeneres

Luck is what you have left over after you give percent. Langston Coleman

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Scott Adams

You can’t experience simple joys when you’re living life with your hair on fire. Emily Ley

Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist. Pablo Picasso

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, Call me….I’ll laugh at you. Unknown

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin

I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened. Will Rogers

What is the difference between an obstacle and an opportunity? Our attitude toward it. Every opportunity has a difficult, and every difficulty has an opportunity. J. Sidlow Baxter

I figured something out. The future is unpredictable. John Green

Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing ’til it gets there. Josh Billings

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one. Terry Pratchett

Things work out best for those who make the best of how things work out. John Wooden

Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying. Unknown

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody Allen

There are no traffic jams along the extra mile. Roger Staubach

The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been. Madeleine L’Engle

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito. Betty Reese

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. Mitch Hedberg

The only time I don’t have any problems in this world is when I am already six feet below the ground. James Jason

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early. Yogi Berra

See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly. George Harris

Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’! Audrey Hepburn

It does not matter whether you win or lose, what matters is whether I win or lose! Steven Weinberg

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. Bernard Baruch

It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance. Thomas Sowell

If you fall, I’ll always be there. The Floor

Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop. Unknown

Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.
Kyle Chandler

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Margaret Mead

If your capacity to acquire has outstripped your capacity to enjoy, you are on the way to the scrap-heap. Glen Buck

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you. Steven Wright

I find television very educational. Every time someone turns it on, I go in the other room and read a book. Groucho Marx

It is bad to suppress laughter. It goes back down and spreads to your hips. Fred Allen

Good things come to those who wait… greater things come to those who get off their ass and do anything to make it happen. Unknown

When I was years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life. John Lennon

The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me. Ayn Rand

It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. Henry Wadsworth

First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, and then you win. Mahatma Gandhi

If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. Yogi Berra

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right. Isaac Asimov

I am blessed with a funny gene that makes me enjoy life. Karan Patel

A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory. Mark Twain

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
Bob Hope

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for. Maureen Dowd

Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat. Harry Emerson Fosdick

In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later. Harold Geneen

We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don’t know. W. H. Auden

The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper. Bertrand Russell

Watching a person who successfully loses fifty pounds and changes her life is more inspirational than listening to a fitness coach with a perfect body. Martin Meadows

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what is empty. Empty what is full. Scratch where it itches. Alice Roosevelt Longworth

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. Elbert Hubbard

Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway. Robert Downey Jr.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Mark Twain

I’m in shape. Round is a shape. George Carlin

The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.
Confucius

Edison failed , times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times. Napoleon Hill

Education is learning what you didn’t even know you didn’t know. Daniel J. Boorstin

Have no fear of perfection. You’ll never reach it. Salvador Dali

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Marilyn Monroe

Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. Ann Bradford

If you’re going through hell, keep going. Winston Churchill

I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none percent of. Even the inside of your own mind is endless; it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand? The fact that you’re alive is amazing, so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored. Louis C.K.

A woman is like a tea bag you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water. Eleanor Roosevelt

Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Have fun. Fall in love. Regret nothing. Live life to the fullest.

When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best that is inspiration. Robert Bresson

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. William James

One day you will look back and laugh at all you’ve been through and will be glad you didn’t give up. Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure.

Funny Motivational Quotes

Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Charles Schulz

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say. Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.
Marie Osmond

If you hit the target every time it’s too near or too big. Tom Hirshfield

When life puts you in a tough situation, don’t say ‘Why me?’, say ‘Try me’. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure. Unknown

Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip. Richard Steele

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. Wayne W. Dyer

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts. Unknown

If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself. Irish Proverbs

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. Oscar Wilde

The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time. Joe Girard

Bad decisions make good stories. Ellis Vidler

Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. Unknown

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. Franklin P. Jones

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. Phyllis Diller

Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them. Dick Van Dyke

Whoever said, ‘It’s not whether you win or lose that counts,’ probably lost.
Martina Navratilova

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning. Clint Eastwood

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings. Robert Bloch

Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha. Robert Brault

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself. Ethel Barrymore

You can’t always control who walks into your life, but you can control which window you throw them out. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Some people are like clouds: when they disappear, it’s a beautiful day. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else’s can shorten it. Cullen Hightower

Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

Aspire to inspire before we expire. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. Bill Watterson

Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. Marilyn Monroe

When I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. Barney Stinson

You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will. Stephen King

Today’s opportunities erase yesterday’s failures. Gene Brown

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. Winnie the Pooh

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Thomas Edison

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.
Abraham Lincoln

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright

If we threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back. Regina Brett

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go. Dr. Seuss

He who laughs last didn’t get the joke. Charles de Gaulle

Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others. Groucho Marx

I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. Oscar Wilde

Always remember that you are unique just like everybody else. Unknown

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. Robert Frost

Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem. Bill Vaughan

Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain. Sherrilyn Kenyon

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public. Bryan White

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more. James Thurber

More Funny Quotes For Motivation

Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Life is like a sewer what you get out of it depends on what you put into it. Tom Lehrer

Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
Will Rogers

Trying is the first step toward failure. Homer Simpson

Kill them with success and bury them with a smile. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

It’s true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance? Ronald Reagan

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! Tom Lehrer

Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide uphill. W. Clement Stone

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. Steven Wright

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. Charles Gordy

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White

The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Alan Dundes

Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do. Voltaire

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me they’re cramming for their final exam. George Carlin

I have not failed. I’ve just found , ways that won’t work. Thomas A. Edison

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. Samuel Goldwyn

Never follow someone else’s path unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost, and you see a path then by all means you should follow that. Ellen DeGeneres

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. Anais Nin

I have to be successful because I like expensive things. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see. Arthur Schopenhauer

Life is like the stock market. Some days you’re up. Some days you’re down. And some days you feel like something the bull left behind. Paula Wall

You cannot be anything if you want to be everything. Solomon Schechter

If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you. Billy Wilder

It’s a funny thing about life, once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack. Germany Kent

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White

Be happy, it drives people crazy. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

I was never really insane except upon occasions when my heart was touched. Edgar Allan Poe

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Mark Twain

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
Sam Levenson

I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms Michael Scott

When I hear somebody sigh, Life is hard, I am always tempted to ask, ‘Compared to what?’ Sydney Harris

To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone. Reba McEntire

There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson

Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them. Unknown

When you have failed at being nice, you’ve actually succeeded in being mean. Success is everywhere if you know where to look for it. Katina Ferguson

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin

Work until your bank account looks like a phone number. Unknown

Life is a blank canvass, and you need to throw all the paint on it you can. Danny Kaye

Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet. Unknown

It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare. Lisa Lieberman-Wang

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way. Charles Bukowski

You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? Steven Wright

Life begins at – but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
Helen Rowland

If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck. Elvis Presley

A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright. Lucille Ball

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already. Dave Barry

Think like a proton. Always positive. Unknown

You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it. Robin Williams

Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears. Les Brown

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces. Will Rogers

If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big. Donald Trump

If you live to be one hundred, you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age. George Burns

Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work, one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it. Ralph Waldo Emerson

A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin

Live in the sunshine, swim the sea, drink the wild air. Ralph Waldo Emerson

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe. Eat cake.

If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.
Unknown

There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do. Amy Poehler

Only he who attempts the absurd is capable of achieving the impossible. Miguel de Unamuno

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds. Albert Einstein

The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke

If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example. Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. Mae West

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign? Albert Einstein

Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you. Jeffree Star

The trouble with the rat-race is that, even if you win, you’re still a rat. Lily Tomlin

The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. Dorothy Parker

If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a hand full of mud either. Leo Burnett

I didn’t fail the test. I just found ways to do it wrong. Benjamin Franklin

If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
Henny Youngman

The less you respond to negative people, the more peaceful your life will become. Avoid negativity. Love free and be happy.

The best things in life are actually really expensive. Unknown

The process of learning is a nonstop orgy of wonderment. Lev Grossman

To Round Up

Hopefully these funny quotes for motivation have given you a good laugh and have helped you to feel inspired.

Laughing and inspiration is a great combination.

I would love to know which quotes are your favourites.

Drop them in the comments below.

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